Have you been cheated on in the past and you’re carrying it around with you?
Are you struggling to trust your current partner because of something that has happened to you in the past that you’re having trouble letting go of?
Or maybe this has recently happened and you’re going through the heartbreak motions and are in a massive funk.
I don’t think most people understand the damage cheating on someone does.
I’ve seen how careless people can be in relationships while not thinking about the other person. I take cheating SUPER seriously, to the point where I’ve cut off friendships because they cheat on their partners and if that’s the values they hold, they don’t align with mine, and I don’t want to be around it.
I’ve also cut off multiple friendships because they knew I had been cheated on and didn’t tell me. I have zero tolerance for that.
I really, really struggled with moving past this experience. It took A LOT of therapy and forgiveness without closure which was not easy for me.
Now that I’m on the other side, I’m grateful this happened to me so I can help others who are going through this.
I’ve attached the audio from my podcast to this post where you can listen to the entire story of my experience. It’s a doozy, so I’ll leave that to the recording for you to listen to, and I’ll cut right to the chase with 3 ways to help you through this difficult time.
Ladies, it’s not your fault. This did not happen because of you, there was nothing you could have done to prevented this.
This was an act of someone else not caring about the impact it was going to have on their partner. Please don’t hold this against yourself.
When I was going through my experience, I took it all out on myself. I would call myself names, I would tell myself how stupid I was for not seeing what was happening, and that it happened because of me.
Please don’t do this – it’s not going to do you any favors.
Instead, focus on forgiving yourself. Tell yourself that this was inevitable and it’s now a chapter in your story. It’s not your whole story, just a chapter. You will get through this and come out stronger on the other side, because that’s what us women do.
And I mean EVERYTHING sister.
Don’t keep the cards he wrote to you, or the pictures, or his family on your social media. Throw out (or safely burn in a bonfire with your girlfriends ?) everything you have.
Delete or block his family and friends, they will understand.
It’s hard at first, but once you get everything that reminds you of him and your relationship out from your sight, you’re on the road to moving on.
If you keep his family on your social media, you’re going to see pictures of him pop up and it’s going to bring you back down the spiral.
Get rid of all the texts and his number as well.
If you’re hanging onto some stuff, it’s because you’re not ready to let go. Please know that you’re worth being treated respectfully in your relationship, and there is someone out there for you.
Take my word for it.
This is the hardest part. If your situation is anything like mine, you have to move on without closure.
It’s not easy, and it’s something you have to work at daily. I highly recommend working on this with a therapist; they help immensely.
For me, forgiving her was hardest. She would comment on our pictures saying how cute we were, etc. and to this day I cannot understand how she would voluntarily have a relationship with someone who was already in a relationship, and I really struggled to let those feelings go.
But here’s the thing, the more you hang onto the hard feelings, whether to him, her or both, the more you’re carrying this around with you and the more it’s holding you back from moving forward. You can’t move forward without forgiveness.
Dig deep down and find it in your heart to forgive, and you’ll be one step closer to moving forward and starting this new chapter of your life.
I’m proud of you, and I know you’ll get through this because you’re taking the time out of your day to read about moving forward. ❤️